Week 132

Ryan was so proud of himself this week and couldn't wait to come home and show us his certificate for reaching the "outstanding" mark in his classroom. Getting Ryan to do homework is much easier this year.  He tries really hard to sound and tap out words to practice reading and writing.  He enjoys listening to us read books and he loves doing his math homework.  Ryan going to school full day has proved to be very beneficial for him.  He rarely brings home extra work to do that wasn't finished in the classroom.  He has time to go to his speech, O/T, and counseling services and complete all of his work in school. 

 Ryan and Julia have started a reading program in school that is linked to an online program called Raz-kids.  Both of the kids easily spend an hour at a time listening to, reading, and taking quizzes about books online.  I am usually the one that has to tell them it is time to get off of the computer.  They love earning stars for completing the activities and with those stars they get to purchase items for a rocket ship.  It is a cute program and it keeps them intrigued.  And they are doing a GREAT job learning how to read! 

 

 

Julia takes a turn reading books online while Ryan watches and helps.

Ryan was watching the news updates about Hurricane Sandy and afterwards we caught him drawing this picture of New York.  He also wrote down some of the cities he remembered seeing the names of on the TV.  If you look on the left side of the paper, he drew the evacuation map and listed Zone A, Zone B, and Zone C, just like he saw them do on the news.  We've said it before, Ryan thinks in pictures.  He amazed me when he drew this picture purely from memory of a news story picture that flashed on the screen for no more than 15 seconds. 

Singing Happy Birthday to Nonna

Nonna and Papa with their 5 grandchildren

Spending time with Uncle Tim and Uncle Michael who were in from California for Jack's Christening.

Getting ready to celebrate Jack's special day.

God Bless Jack!

DC

Week 131- RIP Ty

Ty Louis Campbell, five years old, lost his fight to cancer this week, on 10/17/12.  I've been following his story and reading his mom's blog for about two years now.  On the day of his death, there had been a prayer chain set up for 7 pm.  Ty had passed away earlier that afternoon and I spent most of the afternoon reading the comments that flooded the blog and his Facebook page.  At 7 pm we paused at the dinner table to say a prayer for Ty.  The four of us held hands and Ryan stopped and said, "What about Jackie?"  So we added Jack's little hands to our circle and prayed for Ty and his family.  And that evening before bed Ryan looked out the window and said goodnight to Ty.

I've spoken to my children about Ty but didn't start showing them the pictures posted on his mom's blog until last week.  Julia had a lot of questions for me and each morning sat by me while I read the blog, handing me tissues for my tears.  Ryan was just as curious but it bothered him to see and hear about a little boy so sick.  I questioned myself as to whether I should share his story with them, especially Ryan who is so sensitive and has already had trouble going to sleep because he is afraid of dying, but I thought it was important to be honest with them.  I don't want them to take for granted all of the things they are blessed with, including their health.  The next time they complain that this is "the worst day ever" because they didn't get a toy they wanted or an extra treat or get their way, I hope a gentle reminder of Ty will help them appreciate what they have.  I know this is a tall order for a 5 and 6 year old, but now is as good of a time as any to teach them about appreciation and compassion, and instill in them a love for life.  It has been a lesson learned for me too!  From heaven, Ty's legacy will live on and he will do great things!

When I told the kids that Ty died and went to Heaven, they wanted to make him a card.  The next morning before school they did so, and after school we drove it to his house and placed it in his mailbox.
Click here to see the video: Ryan and Julia made Ty a card to send their love to him.

I can't imagine what Ty's family, especially his mother, is going through right now.  There is nothing like a mother's love for her children.  I feel the best thing we can do for them is let them feel our love, always.  Ty's card was not the only artwork produced by Ryan this week.  In the midst of all of the tears I shed for Ty, I had a few more left for Ryan, my beautiful, intuitive, sensitive, sweet boy.

Ryan: I made you a picture, mom.  That's you and me.  Me: What are we doing?  Ryan: That's you loving me.

If you haven't read the Super Ty blog yet, I've included a link to the entry where Ty's mom shared his final moments... http://www.superty.org/2012/10/our-baby-is-finally-free-rest-in-peace.html

May God bless Ty and his family today and always!

DC

Week 130

We had a good week with Ryan.  He seems to be settling in with the bus and we have received nothing but good reports from school.  He had a spelling test this week and he spelled 9 out of 10 words correctly.  For one of the words he wrote a q instead of a p.  We are still seeing some fairly wild behavior at home but it appears that he is keeping it all in at school and letting us have it at night!

Homework is something that we are doing but it is still a struggle.  He gets frustrated quickly and wants to throw the pencil down and leave the kitchen table.  He eventually completes the work but he wastes more time complaining about doing the assignment than it takes to complete the assignment.  Writing is still something that he tries to avoid but we are working on it both here and at school.   It is getting better but it is something that we have to carefully plan and make sure he does when he is in a good mood.  We are getting better.  We were watching Julia's soccer practice and waiting for Ryan's to begin and he got a big kick out of doing his homework on a clip board outside.  Not sure if that will work again, but it worked on a busy night.

We had another crazy Saturday morning with Religion ending at 10:30 and soccer beginning at the same time.  We thought that Ryan would have a difficult time coming to soccer late but he has taken it in stride.  He is perfectly fine coming in late to the game and it is not effecting him at Religion.  He is even taking to the Religion classes extremely well.  We thought that we would have to convince/drag him to class every Saturday morning but he is excited to go.  We were also worried that he would not be able to make it for the 90 minutes.  We keep getting good reports from the two volunteer parents that are teaching the class.  And on the soccer front now Ryan only wants to play on the field that I am coaching on.  If you recall last year, he did not want to play on the field that I was coaching on and it took a great deal of convincing to get him on my field.  This past weekend the other coach and I decided that we are going to switch fields at half time to work with all of our players.  Ryan did not want to switch to the other coach and insisted that he stay with me.  Luckily another player also did not want to switch and insisted that he stay with the other coach.  It made it easy but it also reminds me that for even simple changes of schedule I still have to prep Ryan.

Ryan has made such progress from when we started this blog that I sometimes forget how difficult it was in the beginning.  We have been very lucky with Ryan and all of the progress that has made over the past few years.  The forgetting to prep him for the coaching change was one thing and another was at a Birthday party this weekend.  We have been letting Ryan cheat when he goes to birthday parties.  When it came time for cupcakes one of the young girls handed Ryan a plain cupcake!  The other cupcakes were all decorated and he was upset because the girls were asking the other party guests which one they wanted and Ryan did not get a choice.  He got upset and ran out of the room.  Dawn had to go get him, calm him down, and ask him why he was upset.  Luckily he was able to tell Dawn why he was upset and was able to return to the room and get another cupcake.

Below are some pictures of this week's events.

Ryan at a birthday party applying what he has been learning at gymnastics.

 

Ryan takes a liking to all little kids and it is great to see him interact with them and share his gentle side.

 

Ryan and Julia added their decorative talents to our anniversary cake.
10/10/12...8 years!

 

PC

Week 129

First and foremost I want to wish Ty a Happy 5th Birthday.  Over the course of the past couple of years we've followed Ty's blog and have shared Ty's story on this blog.  On October 4th he turned five years old.  Ty, who lives just a couple of towns away from us, has cancer and things are rough for him and his family.  Prayers are needed, as well as a miracle.  Please read his mom's blog posts about his birthday...www.superty.org
 

Bus Update

At the beginning of the week I contacted the school's psychologist and Ryan's teacher to make them aware of the bus situation with Ryan. We spoke about some role playing that can be done during his counseling sessions with the social worker, and his teacher was going to remind the class about appropriate behavior on the bus and what to do if someone is bothering you.  The psychologist was also going to relay the information to the Assistant Principal and get back to me; I haven't received any calls yet.  I check with Ryan often about how things are going.   I can tell he is still hyped up on the bus.  Twice during the week when getting on the bus in the morning he stopped to tell the bus driver a story and both times the bus driver had to cut him off and ask him to find a seat.  Just about everyday he came off the bus full of energy.

Speaking of his energy, I also spoke to his teacher about his attention in class.  I explained to her what we are seeing at home and she said she doesn't see any of that in school.  He is on task and keeps up with the class.  We both thought that Ryan must be trying so hard to stay focused and calm in class that he sees the bus and home as his outlets to release his built up energy.  It is time to get Ryan back in for an appointment with Dr. Cowan and hear his suggestions.  We've always been against putting Ryan on a medication to help control his ADHD but it may be something we need to consider.  His behavior during the week can be so erratic that it is turning our household upside down.  We're trying to keep him busy and give him other outlets to burn off energy at, with activities like soccer and gymnastics.  He enjoys doing these things, but doesn't seem any calmer when he returns home.  We will keep trying our best!

Ryan and Julia at the Fall Festival hosted by Adams Fair Acre Farms

Fun at the Fall Festival

Jousting...they were so excited that they were allowed to fight with each other!

 

Ryan was a little timid at first, but by the end of his ride I heard him telling this employee that he was going to come back next time with an apple for the horse. 

Jack didn't go to the Fall Festival; he spent some time with daddy at home.

Decorating his pumpkin from grandma

Ryan stayed on task for 20 minutes to complete this homework assignment.  After coloring in question #2 out of the lines, he decided to take his time and color the boxes for the other questions much neater.  After he was finished he made up a math worksheet with addition problems for the two of us to work on.  Ryan loves math!

The kids playing with their new cooperative game.  It was so nice to watch a game between them that didn't involve one of them winning and the other losing.  Thanks, Bridget!

Painting pumpkins for our front stoop

Out of the blue Ryan wrote a note to papa and asked us to mail it to him.  
Video:  Ryan's Note to Papa




































DC

Week 128

In response to a suggestion last week we browsed through a site called difflearn.com.  There are several videos available that model social situations for children.  We were able to watch a few of the scenarios available on the videos and this brought us to searching You Tube for more videos.  We've also asked some Librarians and Special Education teachers about resources they may have access to that we can borrow.  We had not explored video options yet, so thank you for the suggestion, Alyce.  I have a couple of vignettes picked out to show Ryan this weekend and I hope he is interested in watching them and learning from them.  They will also provide an opportunity for us to discuss with Ryan certain social situations in school and on the bus and appropriate ways to handle them.

These videos couldn't come at a better time.  As I mentioned last week, Ryan is drawing negative attention to himself with the ways he reacts to situations and also through some of his unusual actions through the day.  On one of the days off from school we invited two of Ryan's friends over for a play date.  Both boys live in our neighborhood and have had play dates here with Ryan before, but never at the same time.  The two boys got along well and played for about an hour.  Ryan kept wandering off to play by himself or wanted to watch television.  We reminded him several times that he can watch TV or play alone when his friends weren't there and he should play with them before they leave to go home.  With each reminder he happily returned to play with the boys, but it would last for about 5 minutes before Ryan wandered away from them.  Naturally the boys just started ignoring Ryan with expectations that he would not return to play with them.  I wonder how often this happens at school.  Does he play with others at recess, during free time, in gym class???

During one of our Saturday morning religious education classes the parents were invited in for an orientation in the classroom.  It was 15 minutes long so the teacher spoke quickly about procedures and expectations and curriculum for the year and opened the floor up to questions.  A few parents asked questions and then I saw Ryan raise his hand.  The teacher called on him and he rambled on for over a minute about the candy corn that grandma brought him that morning.  It was so inappropriate for the setting and I could feel my face turn bright red in embarrassment for him because all of the students and parents were staring at him, a few chuckling under their breaths.  The teacher didn't know what to do and looked at me.  I asked Ryan to save his story for after class and the teacher agreed and continued on with the presentation.  I remember thinking to myself why can't he just sit there like the other kids and let the teacher do her thing.  But when recalling the situation to a friend during the week it occurred to me that the other kids were talking to their classmates, fidgeting in their seats, or turning their heads looking all around the room.  While Ryan's conversation wasn't appropriate for the situation, he was sitting there looking at the teacher, and listening to her comments and parents' questions.  He too wanted to participate in the conversation and upon impulse raised his hand and said what was on his mind.

One morning this week when the kids got on the bus the driver asked me why Ryan screams so much.  I was taken aback.  I had no idea he screams on the bus but I can certainly picture him speaking loudly and his ADD taking him in and out of multiple conversations with different people.  He usually gets off of the bus extremely hyper in the afternoon and sometimes he tells us stories about kids on the bus.  One of the stories involved boys sitting in the seat behind him and they were taking their lunch box and hitting him on the head.  I can picture him laughing and joking with them thinking that this was a fun thing to do, but meanwhile the boys were doing it to make fun of him or because he was being annoying.  I know I can't protect him all of the time and he needs to learn how to deal with these situations.  But it is so hard to know the right time to intervene and when to butt out.  But now having the bus driver say something to me was a reality check as to just how much Ryan must stand out to other kids.  I apologized numerous times during my one minute conversation with the driver.  I explained that Ryan was Autistic and had some social and communication disabilities.  When I questioned if the driver was given Ryan's IEP to look over, I was shocked that he said no.  I thought all school personnel interacting with a particular child were required to be made aware of these things.  I felt so sad and worried for Ryan.  I went in the house and cried.  That afternoon Ryan came off of the bus with stars written on his hands in marker.  He said two girls on the bus drew them.  He couldn't tell me their names but he said they were his "best friends". It took several rough washes to remove the marks.  I explained to him that he shouldn't let anyone write on him.  Last year we didn't encounter any issues with the bus, but there were several different factors.  The ride from daycare to school took half the time than the ride from home to school takes this year.  Last year he attended half day so the ride back to daycare was with the Kindergartners only.  And the ride there with all of the kids the Kindergartners were required to sit in the front.  Now that he is in first grade he can sit where ever he wants.  Phil and I would prefer he sits in the front behind the Kindergartners. At the very least we need to have several conversations about our expectations regarding the bus with Ryan.  We will continue to keep you updated.

I asked Ryan if this picture of our family had Jack crawling already and he said that it was Helen.  Ryan continues to remember our Helen and include her in our family.  In order from left to right Ryan told me that he drew daddy, Jack, Ryan, mommy, and Julia, and Helen is walking on the ground.  The 6 is for six of us in our family.  So sweet!

DC

Week 126

Now that we are back to school, Ryan needs to get reaquainted with socializing appropriately with kids his own age.  Last year his counselor reported that Ryan has difficulty at times playing with other children.  He wants them to do things his way and has meltdowns when they don't. I saw a taste of that this week as he played with our neighbor, who is just a year older than him.  Ryan became so frustrated and bossy with how they needed to play a game, that the little boy ended up playing with Julia instead.  Phil has noticed this as well with Ryan on the soccer field.  Many of the players now notice Ryan's erratic behavior and shy away from him.  Behaviors he used to get away with as he was younger and playing with younger children do not go over so well with kids who are more mature than he is.  He draws a lot of attention to himself and most kids his age do not know how to react to him, and they certainly don't understand or know enough to have the patience to deal with his disability.  I can say the same for many adults as well.  I continue to fear that he will have a difficult time keeping friends.  Ryan attends a small group counseling session once per six day cycle at school, but I don't know if it is enough.  Maybe it is okay for now, but I think at some point we may need to plea for an increase, or bring him for sessions to a counselor outside of school.


A few pictures from this week...

Marching with their soccer teams in the Community Day parade.

 

DC

Week 125

Back to School!

This is a week that Dawn thought would never come, both Ryan and Julia start full day elementary school.  Ryan made the transition without missing a beat.  He completed the first day of first grade with no issues and really enjoyed the experience.  We will see what happens when we start getting homework, but we are off to a good start.  Below are some pictures of the first day of school.

Ready for first grade.

Look out here come the Campbells!  

A sweaty mess after the first day!  It was a hot day.

Ready for day two!  Julia taking the bus for the first time.

In an effort to get the kids to help get ready for school Dawn came up with a chart for them to follow each morning.  It is a challenge getting the two of them ready, having Jack, and the neighbor's son is also joining Dawn and the kids waiting for the bus.  The list is make your bed, get dressed (we lay out clothes the night before), eat breakfast, brush your teeth, comb your hair, go to the bathroom, get your shoes on, and get ready for the bus.  So far, this chart has worked and they are excited to check off each item.  Our goal is to make this part of the routine that they will no longer need the chart.

Off to a good start!  

Dad and all three children.

We had an engagement party this weekend for Jimmy and Mary's son at the Sunset Cove in Tarrytown.  Ryan cheated a lot with his diet but his behavior was good.  Hopefully it will continue as we have a full week of school.

Watching a video at the party.  

Watching the ducks in the river.

Mommy and Ryan!  

On the baby front, Jack has started to sleep through the night.  He is now sleeping 7 to 9 hours a night.  Hopefully he continues that trend and below is a link to a happy baby after a good nights sleep.
Happy Baby Jack video


We started soccer this week for both Ryan and Julia.  We did not get any pictures of Ryan this weekend because his game was during the tornado watch for our area.  We actually got the game in and he did great.  No goals but he played great defense and played in the rain.  Last year, he would have never played in the rain.  However, this week he played in the rain and had a great time.  It was also an easier transition because most of his soccer team are repeaters from last year.  He walked onto the field knowing the majority of the team and what was expected of him during the game.  He actually tried to help a few of the new players that never played by showing them what they needed to do and where to line up to start the game.

We also began our Religious education classes on Saturday as well.  It is an hour and a half and we were worried about how he was going to handle the class.  In our mind it is one more day of school.  However, the Sister in charge brought in a special education teacher, who is a volunteer to help in his class.  He came out of the class with a big smile on his face and told me that it was a lot of fun.  He also asked us if we knew who created everything?  God.

We had a good week with Ryan and we hope that this continues.  We know that we will have our ups and downs this year with Ryan but so far we are off to a good start.

PC (photos by DC)

Week 124

Happy 5th Birthday, Julia!

Ryan had a great time at Julia's birthday party.  He especially enjoyed the laser tag, and only had a minor meltdown when the game was over.

Ryan and Julia continue to enjoy spending time with Jack.  Every once in a while I can get them to be calm enough to sit and hold Jack and even pose for a picture.  You can tell when it is the end of the summer.  The kids are antsy and so out of a routine that they are in my hair and each other's hair.  Combine that with a full moon, like we had this past week, and forget it!  Part of it also has to do with Ryan's diet.  Being home it is so easy for him to want to eat and drink constantly.  The school day schedule will help get him back into a more consistent meal schedule and make it easier to keep him on his diet.  The summertime offers too many opportunities for him to cheat.

Each night Ryan looks for Jack to get a hug and kiss goodnight.

Ryan met his first grade teacher and special education teacher this week.  He had a lot of nervous energy going back into school and I could sense his apprehension as he maneuvered his way around the classroom, putting his supplies in the appropriate places.  His classroom has a SMARTboard and Ryan was extremely excited about this.  Julia was excited to meet her Kindergarten teacher and both kids seemed pleased that their classrooms were next door to each other.  I'm looking forward to being home with them this year to attend Kindergarten orientation and put them on the bus on the first day of school.  I'm sure it will take the month of September for Ryan to adjust to school, and new teachers.  As nice as they were when we met them, Ryan didn't look them in the eyes and barely answered them when they asked him questions.  We noticed a big change in Ryan this summer.  He is communicating with adults more than he ever has and many of our friends and relatives have noticed the change.  It takes him some time to get used to people, but when he does can have a great conversation with them. He is maturing so fast!

Playing at a nearby park over Labor Day weekend.

Good luck to everyone starting the new school year.  We'll be sure to take pictures of our first day!

DC