Week 128

In response to a suggestion last week we browsed through a site called difflearn.com.  There are several videos available that model social situations for children.  We were able to watch a few of the scenarios available on the videos and this brought us to searching You Tube for more videos.  We've also asked some Librarians and Special Education teachers about resources they may have access to that we can borrow.  We had not explored video options yet, so thank you for the suggestion, Alyce.  I have a couple of vignettes picked out to show Ryan this weekend and I hope he is interested in watching them and learning from them.  They will also provide an opportunity for us to discuss with Ryan certain social situations in school and on the bus and appropriate ways to handle them.

These videos couldn't come at a better time.  As I mentioned last week, Ryan is drawing negative attention to himself with the ways he reacts to situations and also through some of his unusual actions through the day.  On one of the days off from school we invited two of Ryan's friends over for a play date.  Both boys live in our neighborhood and have had play dates here with Ryan before, but never at the same time.  The two boys got along well and played for about an hour.  Ryan kept wandering off to play by himself or wanted to watch television.  We reminded him several times that he can watch TV or play alone when his friends weren't there and he should play with them before they leave to go home.  With each reminder he happily returned to play with the boys, but it would last for about 5 minutes before Ryan wandered away from them.  Naturally the boys just started ignoring Ryan with expectations that he would not return to play with them.  I wonder how often this happens at school.  Does he play with others at recess, during free time, in gym class???

During one of our Saturday morning religious education classes the parents were invited in for an orientation in the classroom.  It was 15 minutes long so the teacher spoke quickly about procedures and expectations and curriculum for the year and opened the floor up to questions.  A few parents asked questions and then I saw Ryan raise his hand.  The teacher called on him and he rambled on for over a minute about the candy corn that grandma brought him that morning.  It was so inappropriate for the setting and I could feel my face turn bright red in embarrassment for him because all of the students and parents were staring at him, a few chuckling under their breaths.  The teacher didn't know what to do and looked at me.  I asked Ryan to save his story for after class and the teacher agreed and continued on with the presentation.  I remember thinking to myself why can't he just sit there like the other kids and let the teacher do her thing.  But when recalling the situation to a friend during the week it occurred to me that the other kids were talking to their classmates, fidgeting in their seats, or turning their heads looking all around the room.  While Ryan's conversation wasn't appropriate for the situation, he was sitting there looking at the teacher, and listening to her comments and parents' questions.  He too wanted to participate in the conversation and upon impulse raised his hand and said what was on his mind.

One morning this week when the kids got on the bus the driver asked me why Ryan screams so much.  I was taken aback.  I had no idea he screams on the bus but I can certainly picture him speaking loudly and his ADD taking him in and out of multiple conversations with different people.  He usually gets off of the bus extremely hyper in the afternoon and sometimes he tells us stories about kids on the bus.  One of the stories involved boys sitting in the seat behind him and they were taking their lunch box and hitting him on the head.  I can picture him laughing and joking with them thinking that this was a fun thing to do, but meanwhile the boys were doing it to make fun of him or because he was being annoying.  I know I can't protect him all of the time and he needs to learn how to deal with these situations.  But it is so hard to know the right time to intervene and when to butt out.  But now having the bus driver say something to me was a reality check as to just how much Ryan must stand out to other kids.  I apologized numerous times during my one minute conversation with the driver.  I explained that Ryan was Autistic and had some social and communication disabilities.  When I questioned if the driver was given Ryan's IEP to look over, I was shocked that he said no.  I thought all school personnel interacting with a particular child were required to be made aware of these things.  I felt so sad and worried for Ryan.  I went in the house and cried.  That afternoon Ryan came off of the bus with stars written on his hands in marker.  He said two girls on the bus drew them.  He couldn't tell me their names but he said they were his "best friends". It took several rough washes to remove the marks.  I explained to him that he shouldn't let anyone write on him.  Last year we didn't encounter any issues with the bus, but there were several different factors.  The ride from daycare to school took half the time than the ride from home to school takes this year.  Last year he attended half day so the ride back to daycare was with the Kindergartners only.  And the ride there with all of the kids the Kindergartners were required to sit in the front.  Now that he is in first grade he can sit where ever he wants.  Phil and I would prefer he sits in the front behind the Kindergartners. At the very least we need to have several conversations about our expectations regarding the bus with Ryan.  We will continue to keep you updated.

I asked Ryan if this picture of our family had Jack crawling already and he said that it was Helen.  Ryan continues to remember our Helen and include her in our family.  In order from left to right Ryan told me that he drew daddy, Jack, Ryan, mommy, and Julia, and Helen is walking on the ground.  The 6 is for six of us in our family.  So sweet!

DC

Week 126

Now that we are back to school, Ryan needs to get reaquainted with socializing appropriately with kids his own age.  Last year his counselor reported that Ryan has difficulty at times playing with other children.  He wants them to do things his way and has meltdowns when they don't. I saw a taste of that this week as he played with our neighbor, who is just a year older than him.  Ryan became so frustrated and bossy with how they needed to play a game, that the little boy ended up playing with Julia instead.  Phil has noticed this as well with Ryan on the soccer field.  Many of the players now notice Ryan's erratic behavior and shy away from him.  Behaviors he used to get away with as he was younger and playing with younger children do not go over so well with kids who are more mature than he is.  He draws a lot of attention to himself and most kids his age do not know how to react to him, and they certainly don't understand or know enough to have the patience to deal with his disability.  I can say the same for many adults as well.  I continue to fear that he will have a difficult time keeping friends.  Ryan attends a small group counseling session once per six day cycle at school, but I don't know if it is enough.  Maybe it is okay for now, but I think at some point we may need to plea for an increase, or bring him for sessions to a counselor outside of school.


A few pictures from this week...

Marching with their soccer teams in the Community Day parade.

 

DC

Week 125

Back to School!

This is a week that Dawn thought would never come, both Ryan and Julia start full day elementary school.  Ryan made the transition without missing a beat.  He completed the first day of first grade with no issues and really enjoyed the experience.  We will see what happens when we start getting homework, but we are off to a good start.  Below are some pictures of the first day of school.

Ready for first grade.

Look out here come the Campbells!  

A sweaty mess after the first day!  It was a hot day.

Ready for day two!  Julia taking the bus for the first time.

In an effort to get the kids to help get ready for school Dawn came up with a chart for them to follow each morning.  It is a challenge getting the two of them ready, having Jack, and the neighbor's son is also joining Dawn and the kids waiting for the bus.  The list is make your bed, get dressed (we lay out clothes the night before), eat breakfast, brush your teeth, comb your hair, go to the bathroom, get your shoes on, and get ready for the bus.  So far, this chart has worked and they are excited to check off each item.  Our goal is to make this part of the routine that they will no longer need the chart.

Off to a good start!  

Dad and all three children.

We had an engagement party this weekend for Jimmy and Mary's son at the Sunset Cove in Tarrytown.  Ryan cheated a lot with his diet but his behavior was good.  Hopefully it will continue as we have a full week of school.

Watching a video at the party.  

Watching the ducks in the river.

Mommy and Ryan!  

On the baby front, Jack has started to sleep through the night.  He is now sleeping 7 to 9 hours a night.  Hopefully he continues that trend and below is a link to a happy baby after a good nights sleep.
Happy Baby Jack video


We started soccer this week for both Ryan and Julia.  We did not get any pictures of Ryan this weekend because his game was during the tornado watch for our area.  We actually got the game in and he did great.  No goals but he played great defense and played in the rain.  Last year, he would have never played in the rain.  However, this week he played in the rain and had a great time.  It was also an easier transition because most of his soccer team are repeaters from last year.  He walked onto the field knowing the majority of the team and what was expected of him during the game.  He actually tried to help a few of the new players that never played by showing them what they needed to do and where to line up to start the game.

We also began our Religious education classes on Saturday as well.  It is an hour and a half and we were worried about how he was going to handle the class.  In our mind it is one more day of school.  However, the Sister in charge brought in a special education teacher, who is a volunteer to help in his class.  He came out of the class with a big smile on his face and told me that it was a lot of fun.  He also asked us if we knew who created everything?  God.

We had a good week with Ryan and we hope that this continues.  We know that we will have our ups and downs this year with Ryan but so far we are off to a good start.

PC (photos by DC)

Week 124

Happy 5th Birthday, Julia!

Ryan had a great time at Julia's birthday party.  He especially enjoyed the laser tag, and only had a minor meltdown when the game was over.

Ryan and Julia continue to enjoy spending time with Jack.  Every once in a while I can get them to be calm enough to sit and hold Jack and even pose for a picture.  You can tell when it is the end of the summer.  The kids are antsy and so out of a routine that they are in my hair and each other's hair.  Combine that with a full moon, like we had this past week, and forget it!  Part of it also has to do with Ryan's diet.  Being home it is so easy for him to want to eat and drink constantly.  The school day schedule will help get him back into a more consistent meal schedule and make it easier to keep him on his diet.  The summertime offers too many opportunities for him to cheat.

Each night Ryan looks for Jack to get a hug and kiss goodnight.

Ryan met his first grade teacher and special education teacher this week.  He had a lot of nervous energy going back into school and I could sense his apprehension as he maneuvered his way around the classroom, putting his supplies in the appropriate places.  His classroom has a SMARTboard and Ryan was extremely excited about this.  Julia was excited to meet her Kindergarten teacher and both kids seemed pleased that their classrooms were next door to each other.  I'm looking forward to being home with them this year to attend Kindergarten orientation and put them on the bus on the first day of school.  I'm sure it will take the month of September for Ryan to adjust to school, and new teachers.  As nice as they were when we met them, Ryan didn't look them in the eyes and barely answered them when they asked him questions.  We noticed a big change in Ryan this summer.  He is communicating with adults more than he ever has and many of our friends and relatives have noticed the change.  It takes him some time to get used to people, but when he does can have a great conversation with them. He is maturing so fast!

Playing at a nearby park over Labor Day weekend.

Good luck to everyone starting the new school year.  We'll be sure to take pictures of our first day!

DC