Week 41

We're getting tired of all of this snow!  Ryan has had 6 snow days this month and it is not fun getting stuck in the house; he's not too crazy about playing in the snow once his clothes get wet.  We weren't sure how he was going to handle it, but he did really well on one of the days when we dropped Julia off at her school and he didn't get to go.  He can still be very stubborn at times and not like changes in routines, but he seems to be doing much better accepting our explanations to situations.  We received one of the "schools closed" calls while in the garage loading the kids into the car, and I thought it was going to be really difficult getting Ryan back into the house.  He was a bit confused and kept his shoes and coat on for about 10 minutes until he felt absolutely sure that we really were staying home.

The kids have been getting a bit silly being indoors.  Here's a video from one of our many snow days this month.

Both Ryan and Julia were very excited when our new musical cake plate arrived.  Here they are practicing for the weekend for Uncle T's birthday cake. 

"Happy Birthday, Take 1"

"Happy Birthday, Take 2"

And here it is for real...

At the end of the video Ryan said he wanted to help blow out the candles, but he didn't get there quick enough.  He spent the next 5 minutes pouting upstairs, but then came down to join us.  I think last year at this time he would have had a meltdown kicking and screaming on the floor in front of everyone, but he's definitely maturing and taking disappointments in stride.

The birthday cake was an ice cream cake and Ryan was fine having a bowl of his own GFCF ice cream.  My mom also brought some of his chocolate chip cookies and when Phil asked Ryan if he could have one he said, "No, those are only for me. They're not good for your tummy!"  I think it's funny how he is now repeating to us what we always have to repeat to him.



Ryan wasn't really into taking pictures but he finally sat down to join us.  But no smiles from Ryan for the camera today!

  

The kids helping Tommy open his gifts.

















And we'll end with one more video, which was taken last month.  This one is so special to us and we were saving it to put on the blog this week to share with everyone that we were having another baby.  While that is not the case anymore, we still wanted to share the video with all of you.  This was the first time while I was pregnant that Ryan and Julia heard my stomach growling and thought it would be a great idea to feed the baby apple sauce.  I'm so happy that we captured this on video!!!

DC

Week 40- Our 100th post!

It is hard to believe that this is our 100th post.  When we first started this blog we were just looking at it from a food point of view.  If you look back at our earlier posts we focused on food choices with Ryan.  Once we established a solid pattern with Ryan and he accepted the food without complaint we had a decision to make:  end the blog or change our focus.  For the both of us we are glad that we did not end the blog.  We have opened our lives to others and hopefully through our experiences we have helped others when they got the news that their child has been diagnosed with Autism. 

As I have re-read the blog in anticipation of this post I have a difficult time remembering how much Ryan has changed since April.  Even this past week we went a different way home and Ryan's reaction was so much different.  Before the diet if we had to go a different way home Ryan completely lost his mind.  This time he looked up, asked where we were going, and was satisfied with the answer.  He still gets stuck in routines but he can vocalize his route and explain why he wants to do it this particular way. 

Even at school we are getting good reports about his behavior.  He is calm and is following directions, he is making friends and is able to tell us about things in his day.  He even performed in a Christmas Show in front of a packed auditorium.  The old Ryan would never have been able to handle these situations and we sometimes forget just how far he has come on his journey. 

One of the biggest changes we have seen with Ryan is in his skin.  Those that have known Ryan know of the struggle we have had with his skin.  Below are a few before and after pictures to show the huge difference in his legs.  We are now giving him different types of oils both in the morning and evening.  When we ask him why he is taking his oils he replies "To get smooth skin". 


Saturday, January 22, 2011

Wednesday, April 28, 2010



  

We finally had an opportunity to go to Rocco's Pizza in Mahopac to try their GF pizza. He loved it!  He ate three slices.  Granted it did not have any cheese but Dawn thought of adding pepperoni to the pizza.  The people at the place were very understanding and we all enjoyed ourselves.  It is nice to go to a Pizza place and not have to worry about what Ryan will be able to eat. 

We were also able to have Amelia stay over one night this weekend.  She is now in first grade and as the picture shows below, they are now the same size.  He is going to be such a tall boy when he enters Kindergarten next year.  The fact that we are even entertaining the idea of regular Kindergarten is something at the beginning of this blog was not even in our thoughts. 

Thank you to everyone for keeping us in your thougths and prayers and as always we will keep you updated.

PC
                                                                       

A Follow Up to Week 39

I feel it is necessary to again express our gratitude for all of the support we've received from family and friends. We are healing emotionally and physically, and while it is time that is necessary for the healing to take place, time will not answer our questions or cure our uncertainties. We still don't know why this happened, and will never know for sure. We will never know if the baby was a boy or a girl. And we won't know if this will happen next time until we find the courage to try again.

Over the past couple of days we've received numerous messages from people sharing similar stories. We've heard about early miscarriages, miscarriages close to the baby's due date, single miscarriages, multiple miscarriages, miscarriages to one twin, miscarriage of a set of triplets, and 7 miscarriages in less than a year and a half. Some of these stories we already knew about and we were able to reach out to these couples to answer our questions and for support that others didn't know how to give to us.

But most of these stories we were hearing for the first time. I'm not sure why it is so taboo to say that you've had a miscarriage unless it is shared with someone who has also miscarried. It's so puzzling to me. Now that we've become part of this "secret society" we're priviledged to hear about others' stories. It has shown us that miscarriages are far more common than we ever thought and we are now part of this community that many people we know, including friends, family, co-workers, and even one of my doctors, are part of. It has been theraputic to write about our experience and hearing about the experience of others helps to put things in to perspective.

When we began this blog back in April we knew that it would open up our lives to everyone and we were okay with that and still are. We've always wanted to be a source of support for a family in need, and still do. While the experiences may have changed, our candidness has not. We respect people who wish for their lives to remain private, but also feel for them and hope that they are receiving the support they need. It is difficult to place your faith and trust in others; I know this all too well. There will indeed be some feelings of disappointment at times because not everyone will rise to the challenge. But for the most part I've found that people want to help, you just need to give them a chance. That is what we are doing now, and in return, we will help others when they are in need.

On a positive note, next week's post will be our 100th post!  So much has happened and we've come a long way since that first post back on Saturday, April 17, 2010.  Looking forward to more great things to come!

DC

Week 39

Ryan's Smile Shines Through the Darkness

Through daddy's eyes:

What can you say to someone that has lost a child?  I have asked myself this question too many times in my career as I have gone to hospitals and funerals for students that I have lost over the years.  The look in a parent's eyes is heart wrenching.  Now that I have lost a baby I know that there is nothing that you can say to help.  Granted our child was never born but the sense of loss is still felt.   

I really admire Dawn for all that she went through and for what she will go through.  I have to remind myself that we have two beautiful children and we have been very blessed with people in our life who dropped everything to help us.  Our family and co-workers really stepped in and made a very trying time much eaiser to bear.  I really do not know how people go through this over and over again in the hopes that they will be able to carry one to term.

As for Ryan and Julia they were so excited that Dawn was having a baby.  They were convinced that Dawn was having a boy AND a girl.  As the week progressed Ryan noticed that something was wrong and would ask Dawn if she was feeling better today.  When she would reply, "No, not today", he would reply, "Okay, maybe tomorrow" and run off.  The day of the miscarrage, Ryan came right home and curled up with Dawn on the couch.  We did not tell them but he somehow knew something was wrong and just wanted to be near his Mommy. 

Each day will get a little better and Ryan and Julia will always be a great way to forget the loss for a little while.  But we are now part of a group of people who understand a loss so profound that there are no words of comfort.   

PC

Through mommy's eyes:

I don't know how I would have made it through this week without the support of my amazing husband, our family and friends, and especially Ryan's love.  There were days Ryan would curl up on the couch with me and snuggle.  And not a day went by without him asking me if I was feeling better.  He was so concerned that I wasn't feeling well; he's my sensitive child.  I actually felt guilty letting him see me in physical and emotional pain.  And he was such a good boy; so well behaved, so cheerful, so loving!

Both Ryan and Julia were very excited about the baby.  They would put their ears to my belly to hear if the baby was laughing or crying, and they would sing it songs.  They were convinced that I was having a boy AND a girl, and would ask if they could feed the babies applesauce.  I hope one day soon we can tell them again that they are going to have a little brother or sister.  Until then we will remain hopeful, just as hopeful as we were all week.  Despite warnings from the doctors and reports that the baby's heart was beating slow, we never lost hope.  Just moments before I miscarried I was teaching my students and looking forward to the ultrasound in the afternoon, thinking that I was going to hear that the heart rate miraculously increased.  A part of me was in denial! 

I have a newfound respect for the women who have been through a similar loss, and for the couples who endure so much to have a child.  And in the midst of everything, I still feel so blessed for everything that we do have. 

DC

Week 38

I made a GFCF egg free pizza today.  This was my second attempt at doing this from scratch and this time it came out much better than last time.  I think over the months I've certainly improved my GFCF cooking techniques.  I'm usually an impatient baker but you really need to slow down when cooking GFCF items and follow the directions carefully.  There aren't many shortcuts you can take.  If an ingredient works better if it is at room temperature, then you need to be patient, and plan far enough ahead, to make sure it is at room temperature.  Here is the pizza cooking in the oven.  It smelled yummy and Ryan was very excited!

Here's a video of Ryan eating the pizza; he ate two slices!

And here's one of Julia too.  She liked it until she found a piece of basil in the sauce and flipped out!

Ryan's skin continues to get smoother each day.  On most days we give him the oils in the morning and the evening.  I shouldn't really say "we" since Phil is usually the one who takes care of the oils.  Phil has also been the one to give Ryan his injections lately.  We've had a bit of a setback in the injection department.  Ryan now gets himself all worked up like he used to, and the process usually takes about 15-20 minutes because he stalls and makes excuses, and changes seats and positions a dozen times before we firmly tell him this is it or we're holding him down.  I'm not sure why the sudden change back to what it was since he was doing so well.  But now whether it's me giving the injections, or Phil, Ryan tries his best to avoid them.

A funny little story to share... Ryan looking in the mirror says: "Mom, I'm getting big.  Soon I'm gonna go to college."  (For those of you familiar with it, I think he's been watching Toy Story 3 a bit too much!)  Speaking of Toy Story 3, we had a visit from Angela and Michael this weekend and the kids had a ball playing with their Toy Story characters with them.

We had a snow day on Friday.  Here are some pictures of the kids (and Phil) frolicking in the snow on Saturday.

The faster, the better!

Looks like Ryan took a snowball in the face, but this was him trying to throw the snowball at Phil.

Getting ready to surprise Julia with a snowball!

Attempting to make a snowman. 

Poor daddy got his workout today!

And don't worry, I got plenty of action with the kids this week too.  Here's a shot of Ryan and I snuggling on the couch.  He's pretending to be Frosty with a fake pipe in his mouth!

DC

Week 37

Happy New Year!

Ryan enjoyed his week off from school.  We stayed home for the most part except for a few small day trips.  He loved playing with his new toys and his Toy Story 3 Train was definitely a favorite!  Since Ryan's skin is still so dry and rough we decided to avoid mustard on his sandwiches this week.  We are also trying to give him the double dose of oil each day.  His skin seems to be a little bit better but he still scratches it a lot and rather than it feeling like rough sandpaper it feels like light sandpaper.

The kids enjoyed the new tv set up in the sitting room attached to their adjoining bathroom.  Here they are hanging out in their comfy chairs.

Ryan wearing papa's hat.  He looks like a little Irish boy.

Ryan, who goes to bed around 8pm every night, actually stayed up for the change of the new year.  Well, he fell asleep from 5:30 to 10:30 beforehand so he was wide awake at midnight!  He watched the ball drop on TV and about 10 seconds into all of the New Year craziness showing on the screen he said, "I don't like this show."  We all got a good laugh with that one!



On a sad note, my Great Aunt Rose passed away this week.  Here's one of my favorite pictures of her with Ryan because she was still able to see and she loved it when Ryan laughed.  It was taken on St. Patrick's Day in 2007.

Ryan smiling at his Great Great Aunt Rose

Back to school tomorrow.

DC