Happy for his sister!

Ryan and Julia came off of the bus today filled with excitement.  Julia said that she was chosen as the Citizen of the Month for her class.  Ryan ran up to her, explained that he heard her name on the announcements at school, gave her a hug and said, "I'm so proud of you, Julia!"  I am extremely proud of Julia, and Ryan, too.  It is wonderful that he can be happy for her and not jealous that she gets to experience things that he does not.  While he doesn't show signs of jealousy, I do think it hurts him at times.  Like with soccer, for instance.  Julia often scores multiple goals each game.  When they return home from their games Ryan will say something like, "Julia scored 5 goals but I didn't score any because I'm not very good at soccer."  It hurts me to see him display these feelings of inferiority.  Phil and I do try to encourage Ryan to try different things so that he can see what he is good at, but he doesn't want to and seems content.

He may go through all of elementary school never being chosen as Citizen of the Month for his class, and Julia may get the honor multiple times.  It doesn't mean that Ryan isn't trying as hard as she is.  He may have a wonderful year with lots of academic and social successes and improvements, and still not be chosen.  I think it is difficult for teachers to truly empathize with a special needs child without a personal connection.  They don't know the struggles Ryan goes through.  They see him at his best (thanks to medication) and do not get to experience the "downs" to realize how special and precious the "ups" are.  In all fairness, his teachers this year (and last year) have praised Ryan in other ways.  There are reward systems in place in the classroom and Ryan comes home beaming about being recognized for achieving certain levels.  He receives a lot of positive feedback from his teachers when he does what he is asked to do.  And maybe one day Ryan will go above and beyond and get special recognition.  In the meantime, he continues to strive for perfect attendance because he really likes to get that certificate at the end of the year!

Fall 2013 School Picture

Fall 2013 School Picture

Julia with her certificate and ribbon award.

 DC

Keep Smiling!

Ryan is acting up.  It began on Friday when he got off of the bus and the driver said that he hit another boy and the principal had to be called onto the bus to take care of the situation before the bus could leave the school parking lot.  Apparently he was climbing on a seat and the bus driver told him to sit down and Ryan lost it.  He doesn't like to be told what to do and couldn't control his emotions.  This incident started a weekend full of protests from him causing him to whine, yell, and scream at us whenever he was asked to do something or given a directive.  Completing homework was a disaster.  There were also several meltdowns and crying fits when he couldn't do something he wanted to do.  His worst crying session came about after he tried to build something with his Legos and it wouldn't stay together properly because one section had too many pieces on it and weighed that section down.  He screamed at us each time it broke off. Phil attempted numerous times to help him redesign that section but he refused to let him help.  

There were a couple of positive moments that shined through this gloomy weekend that was mostly a set back for Ryan.  They happened Saturday afternoon.  We had family visiting for a few hours to meet Emma, and Ryan played a board game with a couple of my cousins.  He loved playing with the big kids and had a ball.  He was not a sore loser, and didn't get annoyed when Jack kept interrupting the game.  Then when they left he went to his last soccer game.  He played goalie for the first quarter of the game.  He has never played goalie during a game before.  Since he is afraid of the ball it worries us that he will not be able to block any of the shots and then get really upset with himself.  But Phil said he did great!  He blocked about 4 or 5 shots and the other team did not score against them while he was in goal.  He was very excited when he returned home, both about being goalie and that they won their last game.  

I'm not sure where this erratic behavior is coming from.  He goes from being really sweet and happy to angry and resentful.  Maybe he is looking for attention now that Emma is here.  But at the same time Ryan is loving having Emma around.  Even after 45 minutes of homework hardship completing a worksheet that should have taken him 10 minutes max, he grabbed a book and went and read it to Emma tonight.  He really does adore her.  It is Phil and I that he is not happy with right now.  He is testing us to see what he can get away with.  We were caught off guard with this sudden change in behavior after him having two great months, and we're losing our patience.  We have to rethink our strategies and find some new tricks that will work with him.  We just have to.  Especially now with four children.  

Tonight was not pretty.  Homework, dinner, 2 hours of Irish Dance class, cleaning up a room full of toys spewed all over the floor, preparing lunches for tomorrow, and all four kids needing baths/showers.  We got it done, but I'll say it again, it was not pretty.  There was a lot of screaming, crying, and impatient behavior, sadly mostly on my part.  But we got it done.  We got it done.  Here's hoping that it just gets easier from here and we can learn from our mistakes and move forward to do better next time.  And maybe we (mostly me) need to let go a little.  It's okay if we don't get it all done every day.  In the end it is these smiling faces that matter the most!

DC

Baby Emma Has Arrived!

We are happy to share that our family welcomed a new addition last week.  Emma Jeanne Campbell was born on November 6, 2013 at 2:51 p.m.  She weighed 9 pounds, 5.5 ounces, and was 21 inches long.  We never thought we would have a baby larger than Ryan, but then came Emma!

I'll spare you all of the details about the birth and my last month of pregnancy and the complications making it necessary for me to be induced because Emma wasn't coming on her own.  Let's skip right to the pictures of our new angel...

One day old... so alert and adorable!

First picture with mommy

First picture with daddy

My four angels!

Emma's first day home.

Ryan and Julia absolutely adore Emma and shower her with kisses.  Their teachers said that they proudly showed their classmates a picture of her the day after she was born and have been very excited about having a baby sister.  Jack is very intrigued with this new little person who has taken over some of the space and objects he once knew as his own.  We're doing our best to keep all of the children happy but that isn't always the end result.  On my third day home from the hospital I found Ryan crying on the couch and when I asked him what was wrong he said that nobody in the family loved him and that everyone just loves Jack and Emma.  It broke my heart.  We have seen him a bit defiant these past few days, probably seeking attention from us, and I hope this change in his behavior is short-lived as my energy is already so drained.

We're taking one day at a time as we learn how to make it work as a family of six.  This is all so new and the change from 3 to 4 kids, especially with Jack being so young, has been a challenge.  I know it will get better but I think it will get harder before it gets better and we'll go through a learning curve these next couple of months.  I'm not looking forward to the sleep deprivation, but it is a small sacrifice for a lifetime of loving Emma.

Stepping back to a week before Emma was born, here are some other pictures of the kids.

Our Star Wars clan

Celebrating nonna's birthday

Jack moved up to the toddler room at his day care

DC