Week 141

Christmas!  It finally arrived and Ryan could not have been happier.  He was so excited for the day that we had to tell him to not come out of his room until 6:00 AM and he had to come get us first.  Santa does not wrap his big gift and we wanted to catch the look of surprise on their faces when they came down the stairs. The big gift this year was a Nintendo DS.  They have been asking for a DS since the summer and Santa brought them one.  They were both thrilled.

However, with the holidays came lots of non-gluten free food.  It is tough to keep Ryan on a schedule and his diet with the long break.  He cheated a lot on his diet and we paid for it.  His behavior was extremely wild.  As a result of his wildness, his play became very rough.  He almost sent Dawn to the emergency room when he crashed into her knee.  He did not mean to hurt Dawn he was just so wild and rough he hyper- extended her knee.  Dawn ended up spending the majority of the morning on the couch icing her knee.  We also had to be on alert every time Ryan was near Jack.  Ryan just wanted to play with him but his play was so rough we had to be watchful and constantly remind Ryan to calm down.

We took the kids to the dentist this week and Ryan has four cavities.  We were shocked.  Ryan is so diligent at brushing his teeth and his diet is normally very good.  What we came to realize is that a great deal of the GF/CF food is high in sugar.  This is added to make the foods taste better and is something that we were not careful of watching with him.  So now we are being mindful of the sugar intake and also flossing is now recommended to help make sure he does not have any further cavities.

We also had an appointment with Dr. Cowan.  Ryan has not been to him in over a year and the doctor was surprised to see how far Ryan has come in that time.  He made good eye contact with the doctor when he shook his hand to say hello.  When the doctor called him over to the table we were at and it required Ryan to walk away from the train table, he did it without complaint.  Ryan even read for Dr. Cowan.  When the doctor stopped him half way through Ryan asked if he could finish reading the book to us.  Ryan sat down at the table with us and read the rest of the story.  Dr. Cowan was very impressed and was happy with his progress.

One area that Dr. Cowan wants us to focus on is labeling Ryan's emotions when he is having that emotion.  For example, when he is bored, he wants us to tell Ryan that this is what bored feels like and move on.  He feels that we need to help Ryan recognize his own emotions before he will be able to recognize those emotions in others. The other area is to start Ryan on a Phonics reading program.  Ryan is too literal in his letters and does not know the sounds that the letters make, especially when they are put together.  For example, sh.  Ryan reads the s sound and then the h sound.  He does not see them as one sound together.  He is doing much better with his reading but he is a little behind and we are afraid that the gap is only going to get bigger as the years progress.   Overall, it was a very good appointment.

We sometimes forget how far Ryan has come and it is nice to see others recognize that progress.  Through all the struggles that we have had with Ryan over the past three years, we sometimes forget to stop and take a look at how far he has come. One of the biggest reasons for Ryan's success is Dawn.  She has put so much time and effort into helping him that I do not know how she has the energy to keep going.  I know of many people that would have accepted the first neurologist's suggestion and brought their 3 year old to a pediatric psychiatrist to have them put them on medication.  I hope someday Ryan will realize just how much his mom has done for him and how much Dawn loves him.    

Pajama Day

Baking cookies for Santa

Christmas Eve with cousins

Christmas Eve with Nonna and Papa

Up at the crack of Dawn on Christmas morning.  So excited to play with his new DS from Santa!

A visit from Santa on Christmas Day.  He brought gifts for all of the kids, and Jack got his two bottom teeth!

Nonna replaced the ornament that Ryan broke a few weeks back.  He was so happy.

A basketball hoop from Uncle T!

Lots of outdoor play in the snow this week!

Wishing all of you a Happy and Healthy New Year.

PC

Week 140- Trying to Process the Sandy Hook Tragedy

My heart continues to ache for the lives lost in Newtown, CT.  To send your children off to school and not have them return home is beyond my comprehension.  I can't imagine what those parents are going through, and what those kids must have felt.  Being a teacher, having a 6 year old child, and having a child with Autism has this tragedy hitting me on all sorts of levels.  Regarding the Autism, some jumped to conclusions about the shooter and blamed an Autism Spectrum Disorder as the cause for his actions.  This is terrible.  It will send all sorts of wrong messages to others out there that being on the spectrum is related to violent behaviors and careless tendencies.  This isn't the case with my Ryan.  He gets very upset when someone is hurt either physically or emotionally.  And as far as his desire to play "rough", he sometimes does, but no more so than what I see from other kids his age.  And as a teacher I have seen violent tendencies with some children on the spectrum, but also with typical adolescents as well. 

So whom, or what, do we blame for this tragedy?  We have to blame something, correct?  Because if we can blame it on something we then have answers to why this happened, and then we can have closure.  Placing blame absolves any feelings of guilt we may have that we could have prevented this.  It makes us feel better because we can work on fixing what the problem is so that it doesn't happen again.  Placing blame allows us to move forward.  Right?  Wrong!  Especially when society can't agree.  We're quick to blame the shooter's parents.  Political folks, the same ones who spent months before the Presidential election arguing back and forth with their friends on Facebook, are having a field day arguing over gun control issues. There are some who blame ASD (and I don't believe it has been confirmed that the shooter was ever diagnosed with Autism), and others who blame mental illness and have jumped on the healthcare bandwagon.  Others blame the sensationalism of the media.  And others blame lack of school security and training of teachers (some even suggest that teachers be allowed to carry firearms!).  The day that happens will be my last day as a teacher to the public and my first day as a teacher to my own children as I home school them.

While families of the victims struggle to move forward, we as a society do not have answers.  School shootings and violence, including bullying and child suicide, are on the rise.  We didn't have these sort of problems fifty years ago, not to the extent we do today.  Ironic thing is, many of us weren't around fifty years ago, or were just young children at the time.  So where is all of this coming from?  What's the problem?  WE are.  WE are the ones who have created the present day society we live in.  So WE better do something about it, and fast.  Needed are leaders who are serious about making changes.  But that alone is not going to do it.  WE need to do this.  WE need to make this a better world.  WE need to care!  WE need to teach our children that violence is not the answer.  WE need to teach compassion and humanity.  I have been reading about people completing 26 random acts of kindness to honor those lives lost in Sandy Hook Elementary.  That is a wonderful place to start, but I ask myself, "Why does it take a tragedy like this to occur to do a random act of kindness?  Why stop at 26?  And why do you need to announce everything you are doing for recognition?"

I've had a lot of thoughts about all of this building up inside, in spite of the crying I do everyday when I think about what happened and the suffering that continues to happen in this world.  Thank you for "listening" and allowing me an avenue to release.

In the midst of all of this sadness, we captured on video part of a dinner conversation we had on boyfriends/girlfriends, kissing, and getting married.  It gave us a good laugh at the time and continues to do so.  If you could use a good chuckle or need to smile, like I know I have needed, check out this video:  Talking about marriage...

And some happy photos...

Loving his new robe!

Jack is getting so big!

Ryan made a craft in religion class.

Ryan having fun with his new game.

Ryan checking to see if Jack has a tooth yet.  He is certainly drooling a lot!

We are ready for a wonderful holiday season.  Merry Christmas!

DC

Week 139 - RIP little angels

26 candles for the 26 new angels in Heaven... may you rest in peace

Our hearts go out to the families of those who lost their lives in the Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre. As the stories unfold, never have I been more afraid and more proud to be a teacher.

DC

Week 138

Another bus incident.  This time no kids involved, or at least I don't think anyone else was involved.  As is our usual routine, the kids brought me their backpacks and we went through them when they arrived home from school.  Here is what I found in Ryan's bag:

Yes, that is a seat belt buckle from the bus.  Ryan said he found it on the bus.  The next morning I made him return it to the driver.  I don't know any more about how he got the buckle, but he returned it and we left it at that. We need to choose our battles with Ryan, and this seemed so minute compared to other conversations we had to have with him this week about being bossy with other kids at school.  He gets very upset when kids do not do things that he wants them to do.

Speaking of "taking things", the seat belt buckle was not the only thing that made its way home with Ryan this week.  On Thursday I needed to bring Jack to the ENT.  Phil was in class during the appointment time so I had to bring all three kids with me.  Ryan and Julia were being good considering it was a long wait in the office because we were an emergency double booked appointment, and then they had to sit in the doctor's office and watch Jack scream as the doctor performed a nasal endoscopy on him (Ryan covering his ears the whole time, of course).  Ryan and Julia kept asking the doctor if he was going to hurt Jack.  They were very concerned about their brother and wanted to make sure he didn't get any needles.  The doctor was impressed with their maturity and patience, and said that the kids were being so well behaved that they could go in the hallway and choose a prize from the prize box. The nurse met them at the prize box and Ryan asked how many toys they could pick.  She told them one each, and they returned back to the room...Ryan with a toy car and Julia with a slinky.  Later on that night when the kids were putting on their pajamas, Ryan pulls out two more cars from his pants pocket.  He had taken three items and hid the other two from everyone. Phil and I were mortified and really laid it on thick about how that was stealing and wrong.  Had it not been past their bedtime and we didn't live 25 minutes from the doctor's office I would have had him bring all three cars back that night.  We took them away from him and told him that next time he will be bringing them all back and apologizing for what he did.  Ryan is such a rule follower.  I was so surprised that after the nurse told him one prize that he continued to take more than one.  This coming from the boy who just a little while before that scolded a patient sitting in the waiting room for eating snacks when there was a sign on the wall, clear as day, saying no food or drinks in the waiting room.  After we spoke with him it seemed like he was truly sorry for what he did.

On Friday night the kids' school held a Penny Social.  All week there must have been announcements at school because Ryan would come home every day talking about how we have to bring money with us to buy tickets to win prizes at the Penny Social.  And everyday I would tell Ryan that he has gymnastics Friday night and we would not be going to the Penny Social.  It was as if we were trapped in the movie Rain Man all week.  He kept harping on it over and over and over.  Remember in Rain Man when The People's Court was about to begin and Ray was trapped in a car and they had to pull over to a stranger's house to watch the episode?  Ryan came home from school on Friday and when we began to get ready for gymnastics and not the Penny Social, all hell broke loose.  Want to guess who went to the Penny Social after gymnastics??? 

Now on to the good stuff... Ryan and Phil went out and bought a tree today.  Ryan was so excited.  Phil and I didn't really want to go through the trouble of getting another tree (we already have an artificial one up in our family room).  I knew Ryan was looking forward to decorating it, so I posed a question to him and let him decide.  I asked him if he wanted to play video games or do the tree.  He chose the tree.  For him to pass up an opportunity to play a video game solidified to us how important the tree was to him.  And afterwards, we were glad we did it.  (I'm sure if you ask me when it is time to take it down, we may change our minds!)

Jack in front of his first real Christmas tree!

Ryan helping to hang the first ornament on the tree.

Ryan after hanging his Autism puzzle piece ornament.

Unfortunately that smile was short-lived.  Soon after he dropped one of the ornaments and it shattered into a thousand pieces.  It was an ornament that my mom had bought for Phil and I for our first Christmas.  On it was an Irish prayer and it went with one that had an Italian prayer on it.  Ryan grabbed both of them, in an attempt to keep them away from Julia and put both of them up himself, and while trying to hang one he dropped the other.  He immediately began to cry.  He said he was going to miss the ornament.  After some coaxing we got him to join us in hanging ornaments again, and of course he blamed Julia for him dropping the ornament.  But the rest of the decorating went smoothly and another memory was made.

DC

Week 137

Getting into the Christmas spirit...

I asked the kids what we should buy daddy for Christmas, and here are the responses I got:
Ryan: "How about some good children." (Pretty clever answer and funny!)
Julia: "Medicine in case he gets sick." (In case you forgot, Phil spent Christmas and several days in January in the hospital last year because of kidney stones, so this is also a clever answer!)

Even with Andy, our Elf on the Shelf, visiting us daily, the kids are having a difficult time behaving themselves.  They are in constant competition and get disappointed if they don't get to do something first, especially when it involves Jack.  They actually fight with each other about who Jack should be sitting closer to.  While it is sweet that they want to be near their brother, rather than get physical with each other if they stopped a minute to think about it, they can put Jack in the middle and both be happy.  And that would make Jack super happy.  There have also been some issues with Ryan at school.  After two "Outstanding" days at school last week, this past week we received a note home from Ryan's teacher about his behavior at lunch.  He is arguing with another boy about who gets to sit near a boy in their class.  Seriously such petty stuff.  Ryan gets upset when he doesn't get his way, and when he does, he tends to show off and hurt others' feelings. We had a long talk with him about this during the week after we received the note, and also over the weekend several times when he had mini meltdowns at the two birthday parties we went to.

In the midst of difficult behavior, we had some great moments too.  Here are some pictures of the kids in front of the Barbie ornament tree in our family room.  We spent an hour hanging out together, listening to music, dancing, and playing.  And we did a lot of laughing. It was really nice to put everything else aside and spend some quality time together. 

Three smiles!

This is what I got when I asked them what face they would make if they got coal in their stocking.  I posted this on Facebook and it was a big hit.  Lots of people are saying we should use this as our Christmas card picture, but we've had ours printed a few weeks ago.

Wrestling with daddy.

Ryan posing with Mickey Mouse at a birthday party over the weekend.

Ryan received an early Christmas present from my aunt in Virginia.  It is a bank that registers the amount of money when coins are dropped in it.  Ryan loved it and carried it around with him at the birthday party.  Guests kept giving him coins to put in it.  He came home with about $9 in change.

Ryan still holding the coin jar!  He walked around with it most of the night.

There was a clown at the birthday party we went to on Saturday and he had volunteers go up and try to do the hula hoop.  Ryan was eager to try, which surprised us.  There were over 50 people there and he wasn't hesitant at all to get up and try.  We were so proud of him and everyone clapped for him for trying.  Here's the video of his attempt; you can tell he was having so much fun:  Ryan Hula Hoop


Ryan did a good job at both parties sticking to his diet.  He wasn't perfect, but he was having so much fun playing that it didn't seem to bother him.  One of the things he cheated with was tasting eggplant parmigiana.  When going through the buffet line he insisted that he liked it.  It is not something he is supposed to have but Phil figured he would let him try it.  He got back to the table and tried it.  Needless to say it was the only thing left on his plate at the end of the night.  But kudos for trying something new!  

A friend of mine posted this article on Facebook and I found it interesting.  It's called "7 Things You Don't Know About A Special Needs Parent".  Here's the link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/maria-lin/special-needs-parenting_b_1314348.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false
 
The kids, especially Julia, love to dance.  And when they start, Jack wants to join in.  Here's a video of them dancing to one of their favorite songs:  Dancing to Gangnam Style

I forgot to mention this last week so I will share now.  One morning when the bus pulled up Ryan said that the number was different.  And indeed it was.  The bus looked exactly the same but the number was one digit off.  He got on the bus and said something to the bus driver and he replied that they had given him a new bus that morning.  Each morning since then Ryan comments about how the bus number is different.  I sometimes forget how observant Ryan is and what a good memory he has.

DC