R.I.P.

RIP.  Rest in Peace.  We all say it to offer condolences when speaking about the departed.  But what does it really mean?  How do you rest in peace?  I think we say it, think it, and hope it because we want to make ourselves feel better about the loss of life.  We may see someone we love suffering and when they die we hope that they are at peace.  But how can that be?  How does one make peace with leaving their loved ones behind?

I will be 40 next year and I think about the "what ifs" of leaving behind my four children.  I can't even think it without tears welling up in my eyes.  I can't imagine ever feeling at peace knowing that I will not be with them to guide them and watch them grow.  I can't imagine not being in their young lives. Who will continue caring for them the way I do?  And the thought of Jack and Emma being too young to even remember me years down the road just tears me to pieces.  Pieces!  Instead of Rest in Peace, we should say Rest in "Piece".  Because that is what we do.  We leave a piece of our heart and soul with our children and loved ones, and when someone you love dies, you are never the same.  They take a piece of your heart and soul as well.

On Friday morning a friend of mine passed away after a 10 month long battle with cancer.  Today was her funeral.  She was only 40 years old and left behind three children.   How was she at peace calculating the birthdays, graduations, weddings, and grandchildren that she would never experience?  How was she at peace knowing that her parents outlived her and she will not be there to help care for them in their old age and time of need?  How was she at peace leaving her 24 year old son to pick up the pieces when she was gone?  How was she at peace leaving her 14 year old son as he enters high school and has his entire future ahead of him?  How was she at peace leaving a 4 year old daughter in the hands of someone else, knowing that she will grow up not remembering her mother or the few memories that they were able to make together?

My friend sacrificed so much to provide for these children and her life was not an easy or glamorous one.  The diagnosis turned her life upside down and her time with her family was cut short way too soon.  She was a good woman and didn't deserve the pain she went through the past ten months.  And like so many of our loved ones who pass much earlier than we want them to or expect them too, we wonder why this happened to such a wonderful person.  We question God's plan for them, and wonder what His plan is for us.  When will the next tragedy strike?  Which of my loved ones will be taken too soon?  Or...will it be me?

In the meantime, we hug our kids just a little bit tighter, and we keep making those memories.  Because at any moment our life as we know it can change forever.  We are not guaranteed another day, so we make the most of today.

Miss you, my friend!  You and your family have a piece of my heart!

DC