Week 97

To get our minds off of the passing of Helen, we took the kids for an overnight visit at nonna's and papa's house.  Ryan told them all about us putting Helen in a hole in the backyard.  It was good to get away and it did provide some distraction, but it was difficult to forget and put aside the feelings of sadness.

Ryan enjoyed climbing into my uncle's tree house.

 Ryan also made his own GFCF pepperoni pizza.  So did Julia.  Except she wouldn't eat hers!

On the ride home it was a clear night and the stars were shining bright.  I told the kids to look out their windows to see the stars. Julia said that you can make a wish on a star, and Ryan replied, "I wish Helen wasn't in a hole anymore."  Ryan has been so sensitive through this entire experience.  He's been fixated on things before, but there is something comforting knowing that Ryan has this sensitive, caring side to him that reminds me of myself.


There are also all of these feelings of guilt.  I feel so bad that I was not brave enough to remain in the room during her last moments.  Phil was brave enough to be there for me, but it should have been me. She was probably scared, and I should have been there holding her. I should have been the one to soothe her; I should have been the last thing she saw and my love should have been the last thing she felt. 

This week we received our first pet sympathy card.  It was from Helen's vet.  Inside was a little card with the poem The Rainbow Bridge.  For those that may not have read it before, I thought I would share it here:

The Rainbow Bridge
Inspired by a Norse Legend

By the edge of a wood, at the foot of a hill,
is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
when their time on earth is over and done.

For here, between this world and the next,
is a place where each beloved creature finds rest. 
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.

No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
for here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.

They romp through the grass, without even a care,
until one day they stop, and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,
then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.

For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past,
the time of their parting is over at last.

The sadness they felt while they were apart,
has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
and then, side-by-side,
they cross over... together.

The next day we received another sympathy card from our friend, Bridget.  She also included something in the card.  It was the story of The Rainbow Bridge.  Very similar to the poem, just in a story form.  I was lucky enough to find a heart shaped stone on the Internet, with the story inscribed on it, and we ordered it for Helen's burial spot.  We are even more lucky to have such caring and loving people in our lives to lend us support when we need it.  Whether it was a card, a phone call, an email, a visit, or a prayer said, a big thank you from the bottom of our hearts to everyone who has helped us through this difficult time!

DC