Phil's Birthday

It is Phil's birthday and we celebrated with a dinner at Charlie Brown's Steakhouse and dessert back at home.  And the best part... I got a picture of everyone smiling, on just the second try!

Happy birthday to a wonderful father and husband.  We love you!

The Autism Speaks walk is just around the corner.  If you are planning to walk with us, or would like a shirt, please let us know.  You can sign up to join our team or make a donation here:
The Ryan Express Team

The walk is on Sunday, June 1st. We hope to see you there!

DC

Happy 8th Birthday Ryan!

Another birthday has passed and I can't believe my "baby" is 8 years old already!  Where has the time gone?

With our new shirts on May 12th, the morning of Ryan's birthday!

Mahopac Middle School

Take notice of Ryan's hand.  He was very possessive of his cake this year.  He didn't want Julia anywhere near it when it was time to blow out the candle.  By the way, the cake on our left is a GF chocolate chip cookie cake made by Carol, and the cake with the Darth Vader candle is a GF cake from The Pastry Garden.  Both were extremely tasty! 

717 pieces!

Before bed Ryan studied the box of his new Lego set.  He eagerly asked if he could head to bed to start his drawings now that he has lots of details in his mind.

This is where I found Ryan at 5:30 a.m. this morning. Determined to build his new Lego set without our help.  

He spent about 4 hours on it today (2 hours before school and 2 hours after school) and he is a little over half way done.
It is coming out great!

Some old pictures to look at.  No, this isn't Jack, it is Ryan!  He was 18 months in this picture.

And he was three and a half years old in this picture:

And how about this video of Ryan receiving one of his B12 injections.  It feels like a lifetime ago that we needed to do this.  It brought me to tears watching this video and reliving flashbacks of the months and months of struggling we went through to get Ryan to this point getting his injection. Ryan has come so far!

Since I didn't post for Mother's Day I want to share one of the gifts Ryan made me.  It is a letter that I will treasure forever!

My four beauties!  How did I get so lucky???

Last, but not least, thank you to everyone who reached out to Ryan for his birthday.  I passed along all of the messages and showed him the pictures of people wearing their Ryan Express shirt.  The Autism Speaks walk is coming up on June 1st.  We hope you can join us!  If you would like to join our team or make a donation, please follow the link below.
The Ryan Express team page

DC

Ryan's Special Day

Ryan made his First Holy Communion today.  He did a wonderful job!  Only two boys and one girl remembered to make the sign of the cross after receiving and Ryan was one of them.  We're so proud of how well he did preparing for this special day.  We went to brunch afterwards with our family and he was glowing from the excitement of having so many people fuss over him.

In the evening he had the opportunity to participate in the crowning of the Blessed Mother ceremony and again he did a great job.  It was a very beautiful moment!

Our neighbor and dear friend, Carol, took video of the ceremony.  It was a proud and moving moment.  And Ryan was so serious completing his "job" and making sure the other kids did what they were supposed to do too! Click here to see it:  Crowning of the Blessed Mother

And then the presenting of the gifts: Presenting the Gifts at Mass

DC

Feeling Guilty

Whenever the phone rings and I see that the call is coming from my kids' school, my heart skips a beat.

Ryan had two weeks to work on a project.  He had to read a book about a famous African-American, complete a worksheet that listed facts and information, and place the worksheet on a poster board with some pictures.  Phil and Ryan spent 45 minutes at the library choosing a book and spent numerous days reading it together, chapter by chapter.  Ryan listened intently as Phil explained what some of the words meant and together they summarized each page that they read.  Ryan asked questions and made comments and we were happy that he seemed to enjoy this project that he originally complained about.  On Sunday we placed everything on the poster board, including a picture of him holding the book, and a picture of the person the book was about.

Ryan with the book he chose for his project.

I was even able to coax him to spend a little extra time to add some creativity to it.  He was so proud of his finished product and we were proud of him for spending so much time on it, and completing it several days earlier than the due date.  He brought it over to our neighbor to show her and when he brought it into school on Monday morning he showed the bus driver before sitting down in a seat.  He was beaming!

Until today.  I just received a call from the Assistant Principal.  He stated that Ryan would be spending the rest of the afternoon in his office completing his work.  He explained that a girl in the class commented to him about the size of his poster being smaller than others.  And Ryan, acting on impulse because he has difficulty channeling his feelings, especially when his feelings are hurt, responded that he wanted to stab her in the throat and cut her head off.

As soon as I hung up with the Assistant Principal I broke down into tears.  I feel so terrible for him.  While what he said was inappropriate, I can't imagine how he must have felt to have said it in the first place.  And it is my fault that his poster was smaller than it could have been.  The rubric from the teacher did not state a size requirement or limitation.  Knowing that he was taking it on the bus I suggested the smaller size of poster board to Phil when he called me from CVS to tell me that there were two different sizes available.  I didn't want to set Ryan off into a bad mood for the day if he had difficulty lugging around a cumbersome poster board.  Now I feel guilty that my decision has caused him pain and my heart breaks for him.  I can only imagine the crying and yelling that will ensue when he comes this afternoon as he shares his frustrations that we bought him a small poster board.

My poor boy!  This will not be the last time he is ridiculed.  He has a rough road ahead of him as he struggles to handle social situations appropriately.  I wish I knew how to help him overcome these difficulties!

DC

R.I.P.

RIP.  Rest in Peace.  We all say it to offer condolences when speaking about the departed.  But what does it really mean?  How do you rest in peace?  I think we say it, think it, and hope it because we want to make ourselves feel better about the loss of life.  We may see someone we love suffering and when they die we hope that they are at peace.  But how can that be?  How does one make peace with leaving their loved ones behind?

I will be 40 next year and I think about the "what ifs" of leaving behind my four children.  I can't even think it without tears welling up in my eyes.  I can't imagine ever feeling at peace knowing that I will not be with them to guide them and watch them grow.  I can't imagine not being in their young lives. Who will continue caring for them the way I do?  And the thought of Jack and Emma being too young to even remember me years down the road just tears me to pieces.  Pieces!  Instead of Rest in Peace, we should say Rest in "Piece".  Because that is what we do.  We leave a piece of our heart and soul with our children and loved ones, and when someone you love dies, you are never the same.  They take a piece of your heart and soul as well.

On Friday morning a friend of mine passed away after a 10 month long battle with cancer.  Today was her funeral.  She was only 40 years old and left behind three children.   How was she at peace calculating the birthdays, graduations, weddings, and grandchildren that she would never experience?  How was she at peace knowing that her parents outlived her and she will not be there to help care for them in their old age and time of need?  How was she at peace leaving her 24 year old son to pick up the pieces when she was gone?  How was she at peace leaving her 14 year old son as he enters high school and has his entire future ahead of him?  How was she at peace leaving a 4 year old daughter in the hands of someone else, knowing that she will grow up not remembering her mother or the few memories that they were able to make together?

My friend sacrificed so much to provide for these children and her life was not an easy or glamorous one.  The diagnosis turned her life upside down and her time with her family was cut short way too soon.  She was a good woman and didn't deserve the pain she went through the past ten months.  And like so many of our loved ones who pass much earlier than we want them to or expect them too, we wonder why this happened to such a wonderful person.  We question God's plan for them, and wonder what His plan is for us.  When will the next tragedy strike?  Which of my loved ones will be taken too soon?  Or...will it be me?

In the meantime, we hug our kids just a little bit tighter, and we keep making those memories.  Because at any moment our life as we know it can change forever.  We are not guaranteed another day, so we make the most of today.

Miss you, my friend!  You and your family have a piece of my heart!

DC

Valentine's Party

With the big snow storm that hit our area last week, school was cancelled and Ryan's class Valentine's party was postponed to today.  Because of the change in date, both Phil and I were able to be parent volunteers.  Ryan was so proud to have us there.  He told his friends that we were his parents and many of the kids commented to Ryan about their reaction to having a daddy at the party.  Apparently there have been only mommy volunteers in his class this year.

Before the party his teachers expressed to us how well Ryan is doing.  He is staying focused for the most part and they are impressed with his accomplishments.  We got to see this side of Ryan during the party.  He sat quietly while directions were being given, he waited his turn, and in general he was really calm during the party, despite all of the excitement bubbling in the room.  And during snack time the children lined up to pick out their cupcake, fruit, and pretzels.  Ryan was fine with an alternate gluten free treat rather than eating the cupcake that everyone else had.   It is not often that we get to attend school events during the day, so we were both happy that this worked out and we could be there today for Ryan.

DC

Sacraments

This weekend we celebrated two first sacraments for our children, Reconciliation and Baptism.  On Saturday Ryan completed his First Penance.  It was a nice ceremony and we were proud of Ryan.  He had spent weeks preparing both in religion class as well as home.  He memorized all of the prayers that he needed to know and the words that he needed to say to the priest.  Phil has been taking him to church each Sunday and he is learning the parts of the mass and how to behave appropriately in church.

Handsome boy!  Look at Jack peeking around the back.  Little did we know that he would wake up the next morning with pink eye and miss Emma's Baptism and celebration.

Saying his prayers after speaking with the priest.

Hanging his name leaf on the forgiveness tree.

Ryan's "fake" smile.  He was very uncomfortable standing up on the altar in front of everyone.

On Sunday we celebrated Emma's Christening together with my nephew Luke.  It was a beautiful ceremony and a nice celebration afterwards with our family.  Ryan spent most of the time in church sulking with his coat on.  Afterwards he told us that he was upset that he was wearing a tie and none of the other children were wearing a tie.  Luckily he perked up at the party and enjoyed the day!

DC

Big Accomplishments All Around!

So the Campbell kids have had some big accomplishments this week!  It started off with some big changes in Ryan's eagerness to take on more responsibility.  He is more willing to help take care of Jack and keep him occupied while I am busy with Emma.  He usually fights us on this and complains when we ask him to play with his little brother.  Another thing we usually have to prod him about is his homework, but lately he has been coming home from school and initiating the process all on his own! While he still fights us on the weekends to do homework, he has been great about getting it done Monday through Thursday.  And his hard work is paying off, coming home with a 104 on his Science test!

Ryan makes his First Penance next weekend and he easily memorized The Act of Contrition prayer.  We repeated it several times a day, learning one line at a time and adding a new line each day.  He really has a fantastic memory!  And yesterday he woke up and without any directives he prepared his own breakfast and dose of medicine.  This is a big deal because it usually takes a lot of nagging by me in the morning to get him going.  He is usually so bouncy and unfocused when he wakes up.  Also, Ryan lost another tooth the other day and at his dental checkup yesterday he allowed the dentist to complete the fluoride treatment on his teeth, which in the past he has resisted.  And no cavities this time!  He continues to be creative as ever in the drawing department and his creativity flowed over into the toy department two days ago.  He took a number of Jack's toys and created a city street in the middle of our family room.

Julia came home from dance class with a 2nd place medal for a competition she was in last week.  She continues to excel in so many areas of her life and we are proud of her.  She wears her heart on her sleeve so we do need to be careful with how quickly her feelings get hurt.  But she has a big heart!  I have not had the chance to post in the past month but I want to share her latest "do good" deed which she will be working on all year.

Our little philanthropist!

Our "little" Jack turned 18 months last week.  He weighed in at 31 pounds 3 ounces, and is 34.25 inches long!  He is over the 95th percentile in both of these areas.  As big as that sounds, and as big as he looks, at 18 months Ryan weighed 5 pounds more and was 2 inches taller than Jack!  We have big kids!  Anyways, Jack's big accomplishment occurred last night.  He went pee pee on the potty for the first time!  He was so proud of himself and clapped his hands each time we praised him.  This accomplishment is credited to Phil.  He usually gives him his bath and for quite some time he has been placing Jack on the potty before bath time and last night he performed.

Jack loves to look through books!

And Miss Emma!  Just when I thought I wouldn't have anything exciting to share about Emma, she sleeps an 8 hour stretch through the night!  This is a BIG deal considering her nights these first two and half months of her life have consisted of 2-3 hour stretches of sleep and staying awake 2 hours between those stretches.  I am truly exhausted and could use a few nights in a row of her sleeping some long stretches!  Her latest development is discovering herself in the mirror.  She gets so excited to see a baby looking back at her and she begins to coo and laugh.  She is growing leaps and bounds and we are so excited for next weekend when we will celebrate her Christening!

Happy Emma!

Here's hoping there is more sleep in her near future (and mine!)

DC

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from our family to yours!

Does it Make a Difference?

Does the medicine make a difference?  Ryan has had a great school year.  His teachers send home good reports and when we speak with them about the difficulties he is having at home after school and with his homework, they say that they do not see any of that behavior in school.  Well, until today.

I forgot to give Ryan his medicine this morning.  When I realized this, it was already close to 8:30 and the bus was about to come.  I could have quickly administered it to him but then I thought it might be too close in time to the dose he would be getting at school during lunchtime, so I opted to skip it.  I remember thinking to myself, "He is usually wonderful at school; he will be so busy with activities and school work all morning that he'll be fine without it."  Boy was I wrong!

Here is the note I received from his teacher today:

Ryan had a tough morning.  He was calling out, not following directions, and refused to flip his card.  We encouraged him to earn it back but unfortunately it continued in a negative way.  Ryan continued to call out, called another student a tattle tale, then threw his highlighter.  Ryan refused to apologize or flip his card.  The principal came and spoke to Ryan.  Ryan still refused to apologize.  I finally said he could not go to lunch unless he apologized- that worked.  Ryan did have a better afternoon and earned his card flipped back.

DC